Little Peeks Into You

I get super pumped when I get to see inside people.  I try to read them as best as I can, but there are things that tell you more about a person than what they say or how they act.

Since I don't have xray vision or an xray machine, I wait for other opportunities.

*their desk
*their purse
*their car
*their house

Seriously.  I love seeing these things.

I don't snoop.  I never poke around.  I feel I should put those disclaimers out there.

I like to see if they have family, if they have any quotes, what sort of bric-a-brac they have on their desks.  Is their desk slightly cluttered or neat piles? What do they have to drink or eat?  Candy choices?  It can show me if they're a little more uptight and business or perhaps a bit more relaxed.

Purses!  PURSES!!!!  I love bags of all kinds.  Period.  So, #1-I just love to see a good bag.  #2- Is it neat and clean and organized?  Do you have change and receipts and 27 different lipsticks?  Are you matchy matchy or kind of eclectic?   Your type of purse can also tell me if you're a mom, business, pleasure, out for the night, trying too hard, good with old faithful, not up for change, etc.

I am in my car a lot.  I don't clean out my car.  Well, I do, but I don't.  I am not good at it.  I mean, sure I have the ability, I just don't make the effort.  Do I judge the insides of others' cars?  A little.  Not like, "Wow, man, you need to find a garbage can. NOW."  But what they have in it.   I have probably 30 cds in my car in cases right now and another 15 or so in my visor holder.  I have photo "stuff" that never made it back in my house.  I have cat litter that never made it in my house.  I have mail. I have booze in my trunk.  I have a light jacket.  A shovel. A few books.  Stuff that I've picked up here and there and then I'm too tired to bring it in my house or I have my hands full and I deem it unworthy for two trips at this moment.

And then I have trash.  Wrappers. Napkins. Bottles. Cans. Old mail. Notes.  I try to grab what I can when I move my car during the day, but I still leave bottles and cans that can be recycled in my car so I can recycle them later.  Then I never quite make it to a recycling receptacle   I almost drove around back last night when I got home to put it in my recycling can in the alley, but didn't.

When I look in someone else's car and see the McDonald's wrappers, cups, cans, whatever, I want to grab it for them and toss it.  But I don't want to make them feel bad.  And maybe they like it.  I don't know.  I love to see if they're reading a book, if they've got a new cd they're listening to, what their presets are for the radio.

But their house.  Going into someone's house tells me pages.

Are they Suzy Homemaker (either naturally or because they feel they have to be)?
Do they have NO MESS and say, "Oh!  Sorry the house is a sty!" when they have three articles of mail on the counter, a pair of shoes or two and a blanket on the couch?
Are their walls bare?
Do they have piles of stuff, a bit of clutter here and there?
BOOKSHELVES are a gold mine.  I love to see what they have read in the past, or have acquired to read in the future.
The pictures they have chosen to frame.  And the pictures they put on their fridge.  Speaks volumes to me.
Is it well lived in?  Does it feel like HOME?
I love to see their dishes.
Their music collection.
If there's stuff everywhere.  (I actually like this.  Makes me feel better about myself as my house usually has stuff everywhere, and it also tells me that they're comfortable enough with me to let me see this side.)

I can't really explain exactly what I derive from these things, but I feel like it explains so much to me.  It really floors me at times though to think I know someone and then see inside one of those things and it doesn't "Fit" for me.  It turns a light bulb on and tells me there's more to find out about my friend.

What do my purse, desk, car, house say about me?

I'm
* eclectic.
* laid back.
* quirky.
* organized and unorganized at the same time.  How this is even possible, I do not know.
* family is important.
* friends are important.
* love my animals.
* busy.
* messy.
* cluttery.
* colorful.
* broke in.
* crafty.
* musical.

Maybe more.

Anyone else like this?

Sometimes I ....

*feel really selfish.
*have mean thoughts.
*want to say to people "YEAH! I get it! You have a baby! BLECH!"
*feel bad for having those thoughts.
*laugh when people say they plan on getting pregnant.
*cry when it actually happens when they wanted it to.
*wonder if I'm always going to be like this or if it will get better.
*don't want to wake up because in my dreams I have a baby.
*get really mad when people who have children have a loss and they seem to forget that they still have another child.
*feel bad that I thought that, too.
*eat my emotions.

Heavy Heart and Mind

I don't know where to start. I lost two classmates in the past three weeks. It makes me sad and pensive. One fought long and hard to keep living and she died of brain cancer. The other took his own life. I know of four people that have committed suicide in the past few weeks. Not all of them personally, but I know people that it effects. Suicide hits me in a hard way because of my personal struggles and those of people close to me. I am afraid to say too much, so I won't.

I know so many people some sort of cancer right now. My Grandpa has leukemia for one. Other friends, coworkers and acquaintances have cancer or someone in their life does. It's so sad, and yet I know these types of things were foretold.

There's a girl I know of that just had an abortion. I know people who intentionally drink or smoke or do drugs to have low birth weights or because they don't care. Where I, and so many other ladies, would (and have) done anything to be a mother.

I've just been so sad and down lately. Even though I don't (and never have) celebrate holidays, the winter months bum me out. Whether it be because of SAD or because of the sappy commercials, movies, tv shows or maybe just because of all the hype of family time and togetherness and my family lives so far away, I just don't know. I don't feel like doing much, but then I cry because I'm not doing anything. I do stuff and then I wish I was at home. Ugh.

I don't know my point. Life and death and family and loving and missing people are all on my mind. I'm such a sentimental person anyways, but it's been amplified by all the recent events.

I Wish I Knew How to Google Everything All the Time

I try to Google certain phrases and try to "beat the system". Sometimes,though, I feel like I might be missing the boat because I am not searching the correct phrase. Tonight I am wanting to search out adoption rules. I don't know how to search the exact thing I am looking for though. HA! I'll let you know if I figure it out.

Weirdo. Yes, me!

There are so many reasons why I'm a weirdo. The one that has been on my mind lately is how I am regarding business matters. The small towns around here remind everyone to "shop locally" for holidays and back to school shopping. Well, anything really. They continuously do "I Shop Locally" punch cards that shoppers turn in for a random drawing of Chamber Dollars. As hard as I try to do that, it doesn't work as I am not only long, I'm big and have huge feet. Plus, it's just more fun to go to Mankato. :) We go maybe once a month, but usually every couple of months.

How does this relate to me?

I have always had the same idea with friends and their businesses. So, if I have someone saying, "Where do I get my house cleaned?" I know a smattering of people to recommend. "Who can I call to get my windshield repaired?" I know just the place! "What's a good place for lunch?" Funny you should ask! "I need a really cute accessory for my wedding/graduation/next Tuesday." OOOH! You don't say!

I suggest friends' blogs to other people, I tell my customers where to find great things for their upcoming big events. I like to be a great networking spot for my customers. I know videographers, florists, reception locations, caterers, DJs, etc, etc, etc. Not only do I know who to call, I know who NOT to call as well. :)

So, why don't people return the favor? Why aren't they following my blog, Twitter, whatever? Why don't they have me do their photographs instead of having someone else? *sigh* It just kind of hurts to see their posts, blogs, hear them talk about it, etc, and I just wonder, "Did they even THINK of me?"

And I'm not even sure how to say anything. "Um....so, uh, is there a reason why you didn't go with me?" Awkward. Nope. Can't do it that way.

"Next time I'd love to be a part of your _____!" Hmmm, that could be better.

You know what? It kinda makes me want to say NOTHING next time someone asks me for a place to go. "Go to McDonalds for lunch, Target for your shopping needs and buy some Spin n Span for your house."

Every time I get a graduation invitation from someone...ugh.
Every time I see a portrait on their wall.
Every time I hear they have a new website.

Is this just a weirdo Cat thing? Or would you feel the same way?

Small Town? Nahhhh.

As per the census ten years ago, the population of my town is 3,515. Who knows? We could be up to 3.600 now with the new count. :) It's one of those everyone-knows-everyone-even-if-they-don't-know-it kind of towns.

After work today I went to one of the thrift stores in town to check out yarn and whatever little goodies could be in there. I gathered my things and brought them to the register. Older volunteer lady rings me up and tells me the total. I write out my check (so small they don't do debit and I rarely carry cash) and she takes it and looks at it and starts to read it all, "Do you...Oh, here's your phone number...Is everything current?" "Yes, Ma'am." "How do you say your last name?" "Manchack." "Manchack? Hmmm.....Manchack. That's a new name." Smiles. "We've lived here for almost five years now." "Oh, really? Hmmmm....."

I wanted to tell her that I've been in there several times before. I have no idea if she's been in there or not....I don't really pay attention to the ladies as they all stand in a cluster and talk amongst themselves and don't really pay attention to the customers.

If I told her we bought Chuck's house, and if I were a betting person, I'd bet you $10 she'd know whose house I bought, where we lived then, and "something" about us. It's one of those crazy towns where people know you by the car you drive, the house color, who your neighbor is, or the sequence of the last few owners.

My hometown had a population of 18,351 at the 2000 census. I'd say with college kids, etc, it was well over that. The town I work in is 13,594. They're nowhere near big cities. But still everyone knows a lot of people. I didn't like living in Houston because people are rude and show no compassion towards others. I didn't figure it out until Don moved up here that the reason is they just don't care. Don had mentioned something about how he kept seeing the same person or their car or something like that. I was like, "Uh...yeah?" Then it hit me. They're never going to see someone again, so who cares how you treat them?

So Houston/big cities=I don't care for lack of niceness. Small town=weirdos knowing your business even though you don't know them. Creeps me out.

I was shooting a wedding once and the people at the table were telling me that we're their neighbors. Cool. "So where do you live?", I ask. "Around the corner on Elm." "Which house?" "The brick one."

Um. So you can know exactly where I live and whatnot, but I can't know where you live? Creepy.

Hug A Vegetarian Day!

Who knew this day existed? Perhaps I did, and I forgot. I think this is cute. My sister has been a vegetarian for 15 years now. Or 14? She's awesome. Here's me and my veggie sister...we're not hugging, but we're in close proximity to each other and we're smiling.:-)

Taken 05/03/2009 in Florida. I forget what the place was called.

How To Explain My Feelings: I am a Jerk

Infertility effects everyone differently. So do miscarriages. I have known many women personally going through infertility and they all have different, but similar, outlooks on it. Their spouses all react differently as well. Don is supportive of me, and has hopes and dreams for children, too. I still feel like he doesn't really get it. And it's partially my fault since I clam up rather than talk about it. Men are fixers and women are listeners. I vent to my women friends and talk to Don not nearly enough on this situation. I need to fix that.

I think one of the bigger factors is that, like someone once told me, "ANYONE can have a baby." Well, obviously not. But still. I watch 19 Kids & Counting on occasion, Teen Mom, A Baby Story, I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant, etc, etc, etc. I remember girls getting pregnant when we were in 7th grade. I watch the news about people killing their babies because they didn't want to be harassed by their parents anymore. Etc, etc, etc.


It's not like I feel like I'm less of a woman necessarily. It's more like I feel incomplete and not capable.

And at times, I don't feel understood. I think some people think I'm whiny. Hey, at times, I might be! But these tend to be the same people who "decide" to have a baby and get pregnant that next month. I still get the comments saying that I don't REALLY want a baby. They're so.much.work. They poop, they cry, they spit up, you can't go out anymore, etc, etc. Grow up, folks. This isn't anything new. I'm pretty sure I know the mechanics of a baby and how it'll all go down. Guess what? I've been around kids my entire life and started babysitting when I was 8. I know that babysitting isn't the same. But I also know parents who became parents without ever having even held a baby. I've got one up on you there.

The medications and procedures I've gone through so far are NOTHING compared to what there could be in store in the future. But, I gotta tell you, they haven't been fun either. It's the getting my hopes up part that is really rough. I had an HSG in March and I was told that we needed to "really try hard" that month as a high number of women get pregnant after an HSG as the tubes are "nice and clear". Man, did that not feel good at all. It was weird. And let me stop you right there. For those of you thinking, "Oh, but if you thought THAT was bad-just wait until you have a baby!" I get what you're saying. Now listen to me. When you go through labor and delivery, generally you get to keep the fruits of your labor. I know this isn't always the case, sadly, but please, oh please, don't mock me.

I had it all planned out. We were going to Florida for my sister's wedding reception and I was thinking about how all of my family (almost) would be there. My parents, my sister and brother in law, my brother, my cousins and aunt and uncle..... and I could tell them all at once. In person.

I hadn't thrown up in 6 years. I was nauseous to smells and tastes. Even textures. My breasts were sore, and I was tired. My temperature was remaining elevated! I was so giddy, but wasn't trying to get my hopes up (yeah, right). I took tests and they were negative....finally got my period, and so on and so on.....

When meeting with my new therapist for the first or second time we started to discuss this rather large weight on my shoulders. And she asked about my miscarriage. I told her about it and said that I would've had a 6 year old now. I bawled pretty hard thinking about my child that would be in Kindergarten. The birthday would've been past the 5 year old mark.

I found out another baby in the family is on it's way. That's two in the next 6 months or so. I am happy. Very happy for them. Again though, dagger in my heart. I feel like a jerk for being jealous. I am a jerk.

Root Beer Pops, Fudge Pops, I'll Pop You in the Face...

Last night Don texted me to pick up a few things after my shift. Cool. I run to HyVee to get those said items. Lunch meat, chips, salsa.

HyVee has their meat/cheese aisle next to their frozen foods. So as I am perusing the joys of Oscar Mayer, I overhear this delightful conversation between two girls and a guy. All three probably not even 17.

Girl #1- "What do you want? I don't know what I want. Maybe Root Beer Pops?"

Guy- "I don't care, whatever you want."

Girl #1- "I don't care. Whatever you want!"

Girl #2 giggles.

Girl #1- Squeals with delight. "OOOOH! FUDGE pops! But, whatever you want, baby."

Guy- "Whatever you want."

Girl #2 giggles and smiles at me.

Girl #1- "I don't know! I can't decide! I HATE being pregnant! NO! Really, I hate being pregnant! This sucks SO BAD!"

I have to be honest. Besides rolling my eyes over the stupid conversation, I kinda wanted to ask her if she actually wanted the baby. If not, I'd trade her some Root Beer Pops AND Fudge Pops for it.

You Should Be an "English Teacher"

Today I had quite the lovely of loveliest conversations. Well, not really. That was me trying to put a positive spin on it. I do think it was amusing though.

He: "I don't know what you think about Willmar, but my cousin started using drugs as soon as he went there for college."

Me: "That was his choice, not the city's choice. I lived there most of my life and I've never done drugs."

He: "I guess."


I get that certain towns can have certain reputations. I get that, I really do. However, it's just like any other stereotype or prejudiced situation. Generally, it doesn't apply to everyone. Just a few who make a bad name for the whole deal. My current town is nicknamed "Sleazy Eye" by the surrounding towns. Well, again, I know that most of the people in this town are not sleazy. They're old. Ew.


Second conversation with same person that amused me....

We were playing Phase 10. I was winning. Well, not really. I was able to complete a phase and discard before he was able to lay his phase down. I was referred to as a cheater. Um, no, sorry sir. I was behind you a phase for a couple rounds. Then I caught up and surpassed you.

Anyways.

He: "That's it. I redrawl."

Me: "......what?"

He: "I redrawl!"

Me: "Withdrawl?"

He: "Whatever. Geez, Cat. You should be an 'English Teacher'."

I was about to point out that air quotes weren't necessary in that sentence, but I decided that it was probably a moot point.

Really

I need to be better at blogging. It'd help if I had readers and I didn't feel like I was just talking to myself. Wait. I do have readers. I see them on my blog tracker thingy. I don't have commenters. Sometimes I get comments, but I don't allow them for reasons previously stated. I am repeating myself, yes?

I've been doing more and more photo shoots lately. Then the winter will come and I will be bummed because I'm not getting calls as often as I was. Every winter I forget why I'm not getting calls. Apparently not everyone thinks it's fun to shoot in the snow when it's -20. :-)

Still working on losing weight. I'm down a few more pounds. I'm glad I've started to finally realize that you can't lose weight all at once. You have to lose 2 pounds to get up to 10 pounds to get up to 40 pounds, etc. I think the reality weight loss shows finally drilled it into my brain.

I've been making cards lately. Have I been sending them? No. Have I been posting them on my crafting site? No. Yeah, I'm all together awesome.

I've been so tired and lackluster. I am not finding joy in the things that bring me joy. I also haven't been taking my pills. :-| I keep forgetting. Yeah, ironic, I know. I am seeing a new therapist and I like her a lot. I think I've gone 3 or 4 times now. She's good. Hopefully she won't move, quit or retire like the others.

Next month I'm taking a client to Florida. While I'm there I will be able to see my family. Then my family will be coming to Minnesota the next week. :-) Yay for me! I need some family time.

Well, I can't think of too much else right now. I'm just not feeling very peppy.

I Haven't Seen You Around Here Before

Yeah. I haven't posted since September. SEPTEMBER! I had some meanies posting comments, and even though I didn't approve them for you guys to see, I still had to see them. I was hurt and shot down and embarassed and all sorts of dejected. So I just stopped writing. Well, poo on them!

I have come to a crossroads with my doctor. This last round of Clomid lasted 16 months and that is wayyyy too long to be on it. He said he couldn't do much more and wanted to refer me to the Cities. Well, all the while, I had been hearing about an awesome specialist right in Mankato. I told Dr. B that I wanted to check her out first. I'm glad I did.

She explained things to me that no one else has, nor had I ever read. And if I had read it, maybe I didn't aborb it. She gave me a plan, and told me to call her on Day 1 of my next cycle so we could schedule an ultrasound to actually count my cysts, which has never been done. This way we can "see what we're working with".

I feel positive and excited to meet with her. I feel like things are getting done.

Or will get done.

What else is new? Oh, Don told me Tuesday night when I got home from work that our little mouse, Talulah, passed away. She was a little sweetie, and we had suspected something was wrong as she had a tumor on her neck for awhile. Mice don't live too long, and I will miss her little face.

My best friend is pregnant with number 5! Her kids are pretty excited, as am I. I think of them as neices and nephews. But then, I even think of my cousins' kids as my nephews. :-) She's due in October and just found out she's having a boy. I can't wait to meet him!

And my summer program that I run started on Sunday. So far, so good! The kids are all getting along and everything is super. YAY!

YAY FOR ME!

I got an extra $100 this week! :-)

First, on Tuesday night on my way to work in Springfield I was listening to 96.7 and the dj asked a question, "45% of newly married women get upset when they find out their husband is doing what?" I got it right! I'm not going to tell you what it was though, I want you to guess in my comments! Anyways, I won a $40 gift card to Panera Bread and received it today!

Second, on Wednesday at our monthly General Staff meeting they announced it was National DSP week so they were giving us all $10 in Chamber Dollars. WOO HOO!

Third, today I received my $50 Lane Bryant gift card that I redeemed on MyPoints a couple of weeks ago.

So there you have it! A FREE $100!

HAPPY MAIL!

A few days back I got a happy, aqua colored padded envelope with flowers on it. It was from my mom and sister! They were out scouting the garage sales and found a few things that made them think of me. :-) A business card holder, a cat pin and a mini violin for our living room!

I'm Gonna Miss Simon

Simon passed away around 12:40 this morning. I know that because I was giving him food and Don said, "Watch Simon". I thought he meant so Simon didn't go out the open hatch. No, he was hiccup breathing. He wasn't actually hiccuping, but it looked like it. I came into the office and updated my Facebook status that he was having a hard time breathing and I was fearing that he wouldn't be with us much longer. I went out and he was laying on his side. Yes, my little friend was gone. I needed to grasp this, so I came back into the office and wrote that he passed. My Facebook status said that my last post had been 12 minutes earlier. Rats live about 2 years, and Simon and his brother were guessed to have been born early September 2007. We got them October 30, 2007. Oh, my little buddy....I cried so hard last night, and had sad, sad dreams.

Long Time No See!

Man, so much has been going on, and I've been wanting to blog so badly, but haven't had the time or patience to do so.

Let's see....On June 7th, we found out that poor Nigel died. He was just so sick and unhappy, it was better for him. I am glad I didn't put him down and had those extra weeks for him. He loved to snuggle, even more so in the end. What a nice boy.

I felt bad for Simon, he was so lonely it seemed. Rats are very social and so I called the pet store we adopted Simon & Nigel from and asked if they had any rats for adoption. They did! They had Theo (prenamed)who was dropped off by his previous owners. The pet store lady wasn't sure how old he was or anything about him, except that he was having breathing problems and they were feeding him cat food to fatten him up (not supposed to do that!!!). I said I'd like to check him out, it sounds like he'd be a great fit. I didn't want to expose a healthy rat to Simon just in case, so this sounded like a possibility. When we drove to Mankato, I was so excited. At the store, I picked up Theo and he was just a soft little love. He let me carry him around the whole store and loved to sit on my shoulder like the boys do and hide in my hair.

I did all the steps to exposing Simon and Theo to each other and they hit it off. Once they were finally in the cage together, they snuggled and cleaned each other and had a great time together.

Sadly, as we were getting ready to leave for our District Convention on July 2, I found Theo had died. I knew he was sick, I just didn't think I would only have him for 3 weeks. We have decided to not get another rat. I am just trying to love on Simon more. Simon is doing okay, he's still breathing rough, but not as rough as the other two. I think he's lonely and it's sad.

Our "Keep on the Watch!" District Convention was awesome. I saw lots of friends that I haven't seen in years. Makes me happy! The information was what we needed! Don and I really needed that time together as I had been working my Summer Program thru my job and was putting in a lot of OT and not getting the time together that we're used to. We went to Savers on Friday night to see if there were any clothes for Don. Sure enough, we got two pairs of pants, a shirt, tie, couple of books, awesome old decks of cards and a COUCH! Oh my. Yes, we TIED a couch to our STATION WAGON. It was quite the sight to see, I'm sure. We noticed a lot of looks. :-) So now we can cuddle again. We had arm chairs for the past couple of years and we missed that connection.

I think that's about it for now. This is way too long. I hope you stuck it out to the end!!!

Tag, You're It.

I have been tagged by Angi...Here is what I have to do..Go to the place on your computer where you store all your pictures and open the 4th folder.
Open the 4th picture.
Post the picture and give an explanation of what it is.
Tag 4 people.
DO NOT CHEAT!! You cannot edit or crop the picture!!

Here is my photo from our trip to Nebraska in June of 2007. We were on our way to a wedding shoot, and stopped near Omaha, I think? Anyways, we ate at Taco Del Mar...very similar to Chipotle. Cute decorations and stuff...I liked the sign. :-)



I tagged:
Emily
Don
Tony
Julie

January 12 of 12

Thought I'd join in on the 12 of 12. Here's my January....

I love all things Burt's Bees. I don't think I've ever tried something I didn't like!

For lunch I had the last slice of BBQ pizza. Man, was it good.

We've been sending out some family pictures and cards and here's the stack I had to mail out. Still more to write and address!

I'm calling this my self portrait...and I got caught up on some online stuff.

For supper I made pork chops with this delicious sauce. I have always been a barbeque loving fool...and apparently today I needed it twice!

A new season of American Idol!

For my plantar fasciitis I am supposed to take 3 ibuprofen 3 times daily.

In preparation for Season 5 starting on January 21st, Don and I have been rewatching all seasons of LOST.

I also returned my movie, Blind Dating, to Netflix.


I was pretty disappointed this was all I got in the mail.

Don and I are always good at getting our daily water that we should be drinking. But sometimes it's nice to throw a flavor packet in there, too. Right now I'm all about pink lemonade!


I know that I was born and raised here, but this still doesn't amuse me.

It's Been Awhile

Wow. I am on the phone with Emily and she said the last time I wrote a blog was September 16th. "That can't be possible!", I say as I go check. Sure enough, it's been that long. That's just ridiculous. I have been so busy. Yesterday was my first day off in fourteen days. I spent it cleaning and napping. It was fabulous.

Tonight I made homemade chicken noodle soup and breadsticks for supper and had Ashlie over to watch the 1995 version of Bye, Bye Birdie since she had never seen it. We're thinking of watching the original together now, too, as I still say that is better, and she hasn't seen that either.

My soup was delicious and my noodles to chicken to vegetables ratio was great. Ashlie brought Napoleon brownies or something of that sort and they were just magical. I wish I would've taken a picture of her dessert. I am hoping for the recipe.

Here's a picture of my soup. I have to go to bed so I can work at 6 in the morning. Love you all!

Random Mussings

Ever since the beginning of message boards, forums, even back on the days of the FIRST message boards that my husband would get on in his early teens, there has been drama. Yes, it's true. Then when you make them with a bunch of women, you're going to get drama queens. Liars, fakes, pretentious people, girls who think they're the best, the first, the only. I am not like this. I try to be humble, try to be modest, and this is because of my faith, beliefs, morals and upbringing. Sure, I fail at times, like everyone does, as none of us are perfect. In the past few months there has been some unsettling drama that has caused bad dreams, nervous stomachs, etc. Even though I know only a few of these people in real life, it makes me sick to know that people are slandering me. It was brought to my attention that in one forum I had bad things said about me behind my back. Untrue, ridiculous things. I feel like I need to speak out and stand up for myself. But at the same time, why should I have to defend myself when I didn't do anything wrong? To be told that I was "running the show" makes me mad. It's a MESSAGE BOARD people! If you want to talk, TALK! And to be upset that some of us are friends in real life is ridiculous.

I have NEVER been one to be swayed by brand names. I buy whatever strikes my fancy and my checkbook. If the store brand is cheaper than the brand name whatever, I buy generic. If the brand name is on sale this week or I have a coupon that will make it cheaper, I buy the brand name. I've always been a fan of Target, WalMart, even, gasp, Kmart. Don't tell the kids from school! I have never had the need to buy purses, shoes, etc at higher priced stores. I keep things simple. This goes over to my scrapbooking/crafting supplies, too. I am not swayed by names, brands, designers. I like what I like. Who I like. So for people to name drop, doesn't impress me. Just annoys me. Makes them sound snobbish. Sure, I'll say who things are made by. That way if others like it, they can find the products easily. That's what they do in the magazines, right?

If I hear something, I'm going to verify it. Especially if something sounds "funny" to me. I will call and ask how much something costs, if something is true, etc to back up my thoughts. Crazy? Maybe. Fact checking? Yes. Believe you me, if someone is going to say something about ME, I will back up what I say. I will also prove you wrong. I might not tell you that I've proved you wrong, but trust me, I've done so.

I'm also fairly computer savvy, so I will use my World Wide Web to find things that even the unsavvy could find. Keep things private if you don't want them to be viewed, yes?

I am keeping this fairly vague, only those who are the offenders would know what I am referencing, and a small group of friends.

I know that I am better than you. Much, much better than you. Whoops, there went humble and modest. Wait, I already stated I make mistakes at times.