Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Oh this morning I woke up hurting. It's also raining. Am I turning into one of those people who will hurt with the change of weather? Well, for the past two months my hip/pelvis/sciatic nerve issues have all been flaring up. My eyes are wonky for the past couple months also, and I was just in to see the eye doctor a few months before that and they said all was fine. The heel of my left foot constantly hurts, and I'm pretty sure it's because I hate wearing socks and shoes...therefore, my sandals don't provide the support I need. I've been spending money that needs to go elsewhere on doctor's visit copays, meds, chiropractor copays, massage therapists, treatments, etc, etc, etc. Don & I just went to our six month psych check up. That was another chunk of change. There's so much more to this story, but I don't want to get into it. This is dreadful enough. Not happy, not cheerful, not productive. But this is my blog, and I can cry if I want to. I just hate not feeling well, constantly hurting (to the point of crying...howling....can't lay/sit/stand/anything....nobody understands, it seems) and being behind in my bills. I am working overtime for the past few weeks.....so less sleep, more lifting, sitting, standing, carrying, etc. *sigh* I can't even take my muscle relaxers and pain killers at work/before work because they make me sooooo loopy-ish. They don't cut the pain, but they sure make me drugged. Oh please, just have some sympathy and compassion for me. Please.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Sunday, June 01, 2008
I have a problem. I can't let things go. Even when I know it'd be healthier for me. Even when I know things are false. They resonate in my head, the things people say, and I carry them around with me. The comments float in my head, torturing me, taunting me. Recently there was a meltdown in a forum and I was accused of saying things that I never said. Normally, you'd think, "They're wrong. I never said that." and move on. Why can't I do that? Instead, I'm very frustrated that the person is out there lying about me and my friends. I'm hurt. EVEN though I know this person is a liar. I AM BETTER THAN HER. Ugh. Maybe this will help me move on. I sure hope so. She's not worth it. Definitely not worth it.