Saturday, January 08, 2011

Don't You Like Kids?

I think what really hurts, or at least greatly adds to the hurt, of being infertile is the status being a mother has. Even I do it, or did it until I knew better. You know, ask someone when you meet them or see them again or whatever.... "So, do you have kids?" I try to no longer do that. Sometimes I do. It depends on my day. But what really makes me mad is the response I get from people when I say no or when I say I have a stepdaughter. "Why not?" "What are you waiting for?"
"Don't you like kids?"

Yep. That's it. I hate kids. What a weird question.

But the pity look. The LOOK that they give when they find out you don't have kids. "Awww, she'll never know the fullfillment and richness being a mother brings."


The "You don't want kids anyways." comment. I can't decide which one makes me more mad. I don't have to decide (I can hear my Mom, "Is that something you really need to decide?") but that's not what I mean.

I was told yesterday that I should just start saying I'll pray for them. She meant a specific person about a different thing, but hey, it could work for this, too.


Kimmy said...

I'm sorry Cat. Could you say something like "well we're-a-trying" with a big smile? Or does that just make it worse with more questions? You'd think most people would stop there since having sex is a personal and private thing.

Not the same, but I do know how annoying it is to have nosey, know-it-alls constantly asking you the same questions. I'm really close to typing up and printing out index cards about Sammy so I don't have to deal with it anymore. I'll print you up some cards to hand out to your folks about you too :) :) (trying to cheer you up here - hugs)

Cat said...

HA! Cards would be great! Yeah, I know about the personal thing, too. I think it's weird that people will go on about it since it is about sex, you know? Weirdos.

jinxi~ aka angi said...


Its hard to know what to say in any situation.. and how people will receive what you are saying or feeling.

Hang in there.. I love you!