Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Vacancy Available

I know way too many babies being born right now. Don't get me wrong, I am happy for all the mothers and fathers. But it still bums me out on a daily basis, multiple times a day. I feel happier for those who have been trying and had issues in the past like Don and me. It gives me hope. For those who conceive without worry or work, it makes me jealous. Yes, I said it. Sometimes I even am bitter for a day or two or three. Congratulations to you all. Now let me go and cry myself to sleep. I will dream weird dreams where I do have a baby and I still work at CashWise and I keep the baby under the register. Or where I don't know that I'm pregnant until I have the baby and I strap the naked baby to the seat and then walk around Target buying baby supplies while carrying a naked baby. Or where I am nursing and then I realize that I don't even have a baby and then I wonder whose baby this is. Or maybe I'll dream that one recurring dream where I find lots and lots of change under a pop machine. Ooooh. That one is fun, too. I make out like a bandit!


jinxi~ aka angi said...

You are definitely allowed those feelings and moods. Its understandable!

Big hugs and woot to the oodles of cash in your dreams! :)

Kimmy said...

I'm sorry Cat. Hopefully this new doctor/clinic place will work out for you. Love you xo xo