Little Peeks Into You

I get super pumped when I get to see inside people.  I try to read them as best as I can, but there are things that tell you more about a person than what they say or how they act.

Since I don't have xray vision or an xray machine, I wait for other opportunities.

*their desk
*their purse
*their car
*their house

Seriously.  I love seeing these things.

I don't snoop.  I never poke around.  I feel I should put those disclaimers out there.

I like to see if they have family, if they have any quotes, what sort of bric-a-brac they have on their desks.  Is their desk slightly cluttered or neat piles? What do they have to drink or eat?  Candy choices?  It can show me if they're a little more uptight and business or perhaps a bit more relaxed.

Purses!  PURSES!!!!  I love bags of all kinds.  Period.  So, #1-I just love to see a good bag.  #2- Is it neat and clean and organized?  Do you have change and receipts and 27 different lipsticks?  Are you matchy matchy or kind of eclectic?   Your type of purse can also tell me if you're a mom, business, pleasure, out for the night, trying too hard, good with old faithful, not up for change, etc.

I am in my car a lot.  I don't clean out my car.  Well, I do, but I don't.  I am not good at it.  I mean, sure I have the ability, I just don't make the effort.  Do I judge the insides of others' cars?  A little.  Not like, "Wow, man, you need to find a garbage can. NOW."  But what they have in it.   I have probably 30 cds in my car in cases right now and another 15 or so in my visor holder.  I have photo "stuff" that never made it back in my house.  I have cat litter that never made it in my house.  I have mail. I have booze in my trunk.  I have a light jacket.  A shovel. A few books.  Stuff that I've picked up here and there and then I'm too tired to bring it in my house or I have my hands full and I deem it unworthy for two trips at this moment.

And then I have trash.  Wrappers. Napkins. Bottles. Cans. Old mail. Notes.  I try to grab what I can when I move my car during the day, but I still leave bottles and cans that can be recycled in my car so I can recycle them later.  Then I never quite make it to a recycling receptacle   I almost drove around back last night when I got home to put it in my recycling can in the alley, but didn't.

When I look in someone else's car and see the McDonald's wrappers, cups, cans, whatever, I want to grab it for them and toss it.  But I don't want to make them feel bad.  And maybe they like it.  I don't know.  I love to see if they're reading a book, if they've got a new cd they're listening to, what their presets are for the radio.

But their house.  Going into someone's house tells me pages.

Are they Suzy Homemaker (either naturally or because they feel they have to be)?
Do they have NO MESS and say, "Oh!  Sorry the house is a sty!" when they have three articles of mail on the counter, a pair of shoes or two and a blanket on the couch?
Are their walls bare?
Do they have piles of stuff, a bit of clutter here and there?
BOOKSHELVES are a gold mine.  I love to see what they have read in the past, or have acquired to read in the future.
The pictures they have chosen to frame.  And the pictures they put on their fridge.  Speaks volumes to me.
Is it well lived in?  Does it feel like HOME?
I love to see their dishes.
Their music collection.
If there's stuff everywhere.  (I actually like this.  Makes me feel better about myself as my house usually has stuff everywhere, and it also tells me that they're comfortable enough with me to let me see this side.)

I can't really explain exactly what I derive from these things, but I feel like it explains so much to me.  It really floors me at times though to think I know someone and then see inside one of those things and it doesn't "Fit" for me.  It turns a light bulb on and tells me there's more to find out about my friend.

What do my purse, desk, car, house say about me?

I'm
* eclectic.
* laid back.
* quirky.
* organized and unorganized at the same time.  How this is even possible, I do not know.
* family is important.
* friends are important.
* love my animals.
* busy.
* messy.
* cluttery.
* colorful.
* broke in.
* crafty.
* musical.

Maybe more.

Anyone else like this?

Really

I need to be better at blogging. It'd help if I had readers and I didn't feel like I was just talking to myself. Wait. I do have readers. I see them on my blog tracker thingy. I don't have commenters. Sometimes I get comments, but I don't allow them for reasons previously stated. I am repeating myself, yes?

I've been doing more and more photo shoots lately. Then the winter will come and I will be bummed because I'm not getting calls as often as I was. Every winter I forget why I'm not getting calls. Apparently not everyone thinks it's fun to shoot in the snow when it's -20. :-)

Still working on losing weight. I'm down a few more pounds. I'm glad I've started to finally realize that you can't lose weight all at once. You have to lose 2 pounds to get up to 10 pounds to get up to 40 pounds, etc. I think the reality weight loss shows finally drilled it into my brain.

I've been making cards lately. Have I been sending them? No. Have I been posting them on my crafting site? No. Yeah, I'm all together awesome.

I've been so tired and lackluster. I am not finding joy in the things that bring me joy. I also haven't been taking my pills. :-| I keep forgetting. Yeah, ironic, I know. I am seeing a new therapist and I like her a lot. I think I've gone 3 or 4 times now. She's good. Hopefully she won't move, quit or retire like the others.

Next month I'm taking a client to Florida. While I'm there I will be able to see my family. Then my family will be coming to Minnesota the next week. :-) Yay for me! I need some family time.

Well, I can't think of too much else right now. I'm just not feeling very peppy.

I Haven't Seen You Around Here Before

Yeah. I haven't posted since September. SEPTEMBER! I had some meanies posting comments, and even though I didn't approve them for you guys to see, I still had to see them. I was hurt and shot down and embarassed and all sorts of dejected. So I just stopped writing. Well, poo on them!

I have come to a crossroads with my doctor. This last round of Clomid lasted 16 months and that is wayyyy too long to be on it. He said he couldn't do much more and wanted to refer me to the Cities. Well, all the while, I had been hearing about an awesome specialist right in Mankato. I told Dr. B that I wanted to check her out first. I'm glad I did.

She explained things to me that no one else has, nor had I ever read. And if I had read it, maybe I didn't aborb it. She gave me a plan, and told me to call her on Day 1 of my next cycle so we could schedule an ultrasound to actually count my cysts, which has never been done. This way we can "see what we're working with".

I feel positive and excited to meet with her. I feel like things are getting done.

Or will get done.

What else is new? Oh, Don told me Tuesday night when I got home from work that our little mouse, Talulah, passed away. She was a little sweetie, and we had suspected something was wrong as she had a tumor on her neck for awhile. Mice don't live too long, and I will miss her little face.

My best friend is pregnant with number 5! Her kids are pretty excited, as am I. I think of them as neices and nephews. But then, I even think of my cousins' kids as my nephews. :-) She's due in October and just found out she's having a boy. I can't wait to meet him!

And my summer program that I run started on Sunday. So far, so good! The kids are all getting along and everything is super. YAY!

Long Time No See!

Man, so much has been going on, and I've been wanting to blog so badly, but haven't had the time or patience to do so.

Let's see....On June 7th, we found out that poor Nigel died. He was just so sick and unhappy, it was better for him. I am glad I didn't put him down and had those extra weeks for him. He loved to snuggle, even more so in the end. What a nice boy.

I felt bad for Simon, he was so lonely it seemed. Rats are very social and so I called the pet store we adopted Simon & Nigel from and asked if they had any rats for adoption. They did! They had Theo (prenamed)who was dropped off by his previous owners. The pet store lady wasn't sure how old he was or anything about him, except that he was having breathing problems and they were feeding him cat food to fatten him up (not supposed to do that!!!). I said I'd like to check him out, it sounds like he'd be a great fit. I didn't want to expose a healthy rat to Simon just in case, so this sounded like a possibility. When we drove to Mankato, I was so excited. At the store, I picked up Theo and he was just a soft little love. He let me carry him around the whole store and loved to sit on my shoulder like the boys do and hide in my hair.

I did all the steps to exposing Simon and Theo to each other and they hit it off. Once they were finally in the cage together, they snuggled and cleaned each other and had a great time together.

Sadly, as we were getting ready to leave for our District Convention on July 2, I found Theo had died. I knew he was sick, I just didn't think I would only have him for 3 weeks. We have decided to not get another rat. I am just trying to love on Simon more. Simon is doing okay, he's still breathing rough, but not as rough as the other two. I think he's lonely and it's sad.

Our "Keep on the Watch!" District Convention was awesome. I saw lots of friends that I haven't seen in years. Makes me happy! The information was what we needed! Don and I really needed that time together as I had been working my Summer Program thru my job and was putting in a lot of OT and not getting the time together that we're used to. We went to Savers on Friday night to see if there were any clothes for Don. Sure enough, we got two pairs of pants, a shirt, tie, couple of books, awesome old decks of cards and a COUCH! Oh my. Yes, we TIED a couch to our STATION WAGON. It was quite the sight to see, I'm sure. We noticed a lot of looks. :-) So now we can cuddle again. We had arm chairs for the past couple of years and we missed that connection.

I think that's about it for now. This is way too long. I hope you stuck it out to the end!!!

It's Been Awhile

Wow. I am on the phone with Emily and she said the last time I wrote a blog was September 16th. "That can't be possible!", I say as I go check. Sure enough, it's been that long. That's just ridiculous. I have been so busy. Yesterday was my first day off in fourteen days. I spent it cleaning and napping. It was fabulous.

Tonight I made homemade chicken noodle soup and breadsticks for supper and had Ashlie over to watch the 1995 version of Bye, Bye Birdie since she had never seen it. We're thinking of watching the original together now, too, as I still say that is better, and she hasn't seen that either.

My soup was delicious and my noodles to chicken to vegetables ratio was great. Ashlie brought Napoleon brownies or something of that sort and they were just magical. I wish I would've taken a picture of her dessert. I am hoping for the recipe.

Here's a picture of my soup. I have to go to bed so I can work at 6 in the morning. Love you all!

Hi Chivon!

Just wanted to give a shout out to my BFF! HAHAHAHA! Here's her adorable kids!

Random Mussings

Ever since the beginning of message boards, forums, even back on the days of the FIRST message boards that my husband would get on in his early teens, there has been drama. Yes, it's true. Then when you make them with a bunch of women, you're going to get drama queens. Liars, fakes, pretentious people, girls who think they're the best, the first, the only. I am not like this. I try to be humble, try to be modest, and this is because of my faith, beliefs, morals and upbringing. Sure, I fail at times, like everyone does, as none of us are perfect. In the past few months there has been some unsettling drama that has caused bad dreams, nervous stomachs, etc. Even though I know only a few of these people in real life, it makes me sick to know that people are slandering me. It was brought to my attention that in one forum I had bad things said about me behind my back. Untrue, ridiculous things. I feel like I need to speak out and stand up for myself. But at the same time, why should I have to defend myself when I didn't do anything wrong? To be told that I was "running the show" makes me mad. It's a MESSAGE BOARD people! If you want to talk, TALK! And to be upset that some of us are friends in real life is ridiculous.

I have NEVER been one to be swayed by brand names. I buy whatever strikes my fancy and my checkbook. If the store brand is cheaper than the brand name whatever, I buy generic. If the brand name is on sale this week or I have a coupon that will make it cheaper, I buy the brand name. I've always been a fan of Target, WalMart, even, gasp, Kmart. Don't tell the kids from school! I have never had the need to buy purses, shoes, etc at higher priced stores. I keep things simple. This goes over to my scrapbooking/crafting supplies, too. I am not swayed by names, brands, designers. I like what I like. Who I like. So for people to name drop, doesn't impress me. Just annoys me. Makes them sound snobbish. Sure, I'll say who things are made by. That way if others like it, they can find the products easily. That's what they do in the magazines, right?

If I hear something, I'm going to verify it. Especially if something sounds "funny" to me. I will call and ask how much something costs, if something is true, etc to back up my thoughts. Crazy? Maybe. Fact checking? Yes. Believe you me, if someone is going to say something about ME, I will back up what I say. I will also prove you wrong. I might not tell you that I've proved you wrong, but trust me, I've done so.

I'm also fairly computer savvy, so I will use my World Wide Web to find things that even the unsavvy could find. Keep things private if you don't want them to be viewed, yes?

I am keeping this fairly vague, only those who are the offenders would know what I am referencing, and a small group of friends.

I know that I am better than you. Much, much better than you. Whoops, there went humble and modest. Wait, I already stated I make mistakes at times.

Cat Says the Silliest Things

Yeah, I've heard it since I was young....I have a funny way of saying things. Even when I lived in Willmar, a service group once decided that I need a Book of Cat for the things I say. We had a few things in there, and I lost it. Of course. HA!

So yesterday I was at my Friends Group Facilitator meeting and we were talking...I mentioned my legs being jibbly. Then later I said something else, and something else. I don't remember because I'm so used to saying them. But after about four things, they stopped the meeting and all commented on my words.

It was decided that I need a Cat Dictionary of Catisms so I can let everyone know what these words mean. I told them about the Book of Cat, they laughed. I was going to tell them about Becky's Becktionary, but talk time was over.

Here's a layout (LO) I once did about my Cat-isms.

Where is Emily Post when you need her?

So people have totally lost all semblance of politeness, ethics, helpfulness, tact, etc.

I understand how people stare and look when they see/hear something that is different. Sure, take a glance and move on. If you really need to know, ask me. But do NOT laugh, point, stare and whisper at or about my clients. What really gets my goat is when I'm trying to go in a place w/ a wheelchair, trying to hold the door open with my butt or my foot or whatever appendage might work, while people stand and watch me. Is it rude to say, "A little help here, please?" Even the places that my clients frequent, like Movie Gallery, where there are two workers on pretty much all the time and neither comes to help. They both just stand behind the counter and WATCH us come in. It's enough to make me WALK right back OUT.

And I am needing to grow a pair, apparently. I'm sick of stuttering, stammering, stalling for an answer when people ask me why I don't have kids. One would think the answer, "We want kids" would be sufficient. But no. Then people ask, "Well, then why don't you have any?" Am I supposed to go through the miscarriage/not ovulating/hormone pills/etc/etc story with them? Or just smile and say....what? What do I say? I was reading Ask Annie or whatever they call it in the paper and there was another couple from MN that had been married for 4 years that was having the exact same problems. They asked what to say when someone asks them the same question. Annie suggested saying, "I can't see how that is any of your business". Well, that is not my style. I am not like that. Even if I'm thinking it. Even if I will say it to Don later when recounting the story. Even if I say it in a blog. I have even tried saying that Don has a daughter. Then people say, "Don't you want any of your OWN?!" So what's the answer? How do I stop the questions? I always feel the need to say everything. Explain it all in three minutes. Even if I don't really know these people. Yeah. Uncomfortable.

I still can't get the answer down for, "Are you still friends with ______?" No, I'm not really. I wouldn't say we're not friends, but what do I say? Come up with the last time I saw her? Say the last bit of info I heard, which is what the people are probably actually looking for....location, marriage, kids, work, etc. Not if we're actually still friends. Those that know how close we were will also say things like, "But you were so close! What happened?!" Do I then say what really happened? Of course not. But I can't ever come up with another option quick enough.

So I just need some guidance, some suggestions. Some something. A friend and a baby would be great though. And maybe lunch with Emily Post.

To Blog, or not to Blog. That is the question

You know what's funny? I was going to complain how nobody reads this. Yet at the same time, I'd get so mad if someone read my diary. But here I say things with the knowledge of the possibility that someone will read this. I have friends and know other people that have dozens of faithful readers. Yet, I might have two random people pass through. If there are any more, please comment-JUST so I'll know that someone was here, if for nothing else.

Well, today a baby was born. Elizabeth Christine Labrucherie was born to Amanda and Joel Labrucherie. I didn't get the time, but she is 7 lbs 10 oz, 21 inches long. The proud papa says she has brownish hair and is very alert, wiggling her arms and looking around. I wanted to talk to mama, but she said she's beat, so hopefully tomorrow!

I'm currently in Wisconsin Dells with two of my clients. We've been here since Sunday night and are leaving tomorrow. We've gone to the movies (The Simpsons), a train ride, a Duck ride, saw a Fab 50's Live show, mined for gems, the guys rode bumper cars....um, what else? It's been fun. I get a little over stressed on working vacations as I have no alone or down time. It's really hard to keep going and going.

Again I was late...so I was almost getting excited, but for nothing again. I really need to get back into the doctor to get back on chlomid and hopefully that will work this time! I just really want a baby!!!

My brother and his wife and kids are talking about coming this Sunday to visit and go see the Laura Ingles Wilder stuff in Walnut Grove. I'm really hoping they come,even though my place is NOT looking good AT ALL! hahaha. I wouldn't normally mind, but they have such a nice place...I feel inferior.

I also have a wedding shoot this Saturday. I'm pumped. They're a great couple- we had so much fun on the engagement shoot. Very photogenic, and they like the different poses and effects I offer. YAY FOR ME!

Can you tell I'm bored? Oh wait, you can't, as noone reads this!!!! hahahaha


All for now.

I'll have what they're having

In no certain order, here are the girls that I can remember that are pregnant right now!

1. Jen V.
2. Jen I.
3. Amanda J.
4. Amanda L.
5. Amy S.
6. Jamie K.
7. Liz W.
8. Jen G.
9. Kara S.
10. Shannon
11. Bobbi M.
12. Carrie
13. Jocelyn S.
14. Soley K.
15. Ashley R.
16. Michelle O.

I think that's it? It seems like there's more, but I can't remember. I'm so happy for them all....please send me some of that!

It must be something in the water

Alright, I am admitting right this moment that part of this might be stemmed from jealousy. But I swear, in the last two and a half years that Don and I have been trying to get pregnant and stay pregnant, everyone and their dog has gotten pregnant and had eighty billion kids. Well, I may have exaggerated a bit there. But I know one friend who has had two, another had one, another is on the way to having her second. Then of course there's all these first time moms...and the coworker I have that's having her fourth. And the girls who got pregnant and complain about it....ugh the cravings, ugh I'm fat, ugh my independance, ugh I didn't want another baby..... I will slap you. And even if I wasn't wanting a baby so badly, I'd slap you anyways. If you don't want to get pregnant, take precautions. Quit complaining.

And I'm sick of people with their lame reasonings and whatnot.

"Well, at least YOU don't have to have morning sickness" (heard that more than once)

Same with cravings, diapers, money, crying, complaining, weight gain, sleep loss, stress, depression, whatever else they come up with.

I'm sure some of these girls are trying to be supportive, trying to be nice....etc, etc.

Very recently someone told me that God gives babies to those who deserve them. Okay, so why all the unwed mothers? Drug users? People that don't need more and use all the tax payer's money? I don't believe that. Not for one second. I definetly believe that God makes things happen, but I also definetly didn't like the insinuation that I'm not good enough. Or whatever they're trying to say.

"Well, you can still __________________" or "Now you can just ____________"


Ugh. Please give me patience and kindness and understanding....and whatever else I need.